


Jumper

by TheVeganAuthor



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - No Band, Anniversary, Break Up, Death, Drinking, Drowning, Fights, Graphic Description, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Regret, Sad Ending, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, drunk, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23293192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVeganAuthor/pseuds/TheVeganAuthor
Summary: Gerard makes a mistake. Sadly he's not going to get the chance to apologize.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Kudos: 7





	Jumper

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Before we get further I just want to ask everyone to please read all the tags and to be aware that this contains a very graphic suicide. The title is from Jumper by Third Eye Blind. Thanks.

I knew where I was heading. Turnpike bridge. The river under it is where I’m really heading though. It’s time I finally get this over with. Tonight is going to be the last night of my life. I’m ready to die. I have been for a while actually but I couldn’t because I thought there was an off chance my death might hurt Frank. Today, I finally learned that he is better off without me though. 

We had a fight. It was my fault. I screwed up. I had forgotten today was our three year anniversary. He came home from work holding a bouquet of roses with a huge smile on his face. My only response was why the fuck was he carrying flowers around. I’m so fucking stupid and worthless. I couldn’t even remember one god damn day. 

After he finished yelling at me in person he took off towards Will’s.(The only true dive bar left in belleville) I stayed at the house until about an hour later he called and left a voicemail describing how I could get fucked and go to hell. I could tell by his voice he was completely smashed. That's when I realized what I needed to do. I started walking towards the bridge. Frank needed me out of his life. There was only one way that was going to happen. I don’t have the self control to stay away from him if I’m alive. So, I can’t be alive anymore. I don’t want to be alive anyway. I’m not good enough for him. Frank deserves so much more than me. 

I’m at the bridge now. I pull my phone out of my pocket and quickly dial his number. It goes to voicemail after the first ring meaning Frankie declined the call. I already knew that would happen. That’s what I wanted. I quickly leave my message and hang up. I just needed to say I love you one last time and that's all I did. Those three words will be the last thing I ever say. His last memory of me and my last memory of him.

I walk to the edge and look over at the rushing water. I decide not to drag this out and start to climb over the railing. I have to close my eyes once I’m completely over onto the ledge. I take a moment to enjoy my last few breaths. I know I’m not going to regret this. I let go of the rail and started to fall. The fall is relatively painless. Soon enough I’m hitting the water.

Hitting the water surface is like entering another world. It hurts but is still euphoric knowing I’ll never have to face the world again after this. It’s like I’m floating. My mind and my body are in two very different places. My bodies stuck. I can’t move. That should have me panicking but my mind just doesn’t seem to care. I just can’t seem to care. My body is setting off the alarms in my head telling me to react but my mind is pulling me deeper under the layers of dark. 

My mind is drenched in thoughts, very few of them are making any sense though. Something’s trying to get me to open my mouth to make this quicker but my body is refusing the request. The pain is all I can process. The sharp constant ache of my body due to the cold is nothing compared to the burn of my lungs and throat from lack of oxygen. I haven’t managed to get my eyes open since I stepped over the railing. His face is there. Still right in the forefront of my mind. Frankie’s face. I somehow already miss him.

I know I already said I wasn’t going to have this moment but I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want this. I’m not ready to die. I just want Frank. I want the pain to go away. I want to make up with him. I want to ask him to marry me. I want to have kids together. I want to be alive. Then again when do we ever get what we want. 

At this moment I feel my mouth and lungs starting to fill with water. This really is the end. I’ll never get to see Frank again. See him smile, hear his voice, hear his cute little laugh, kiss him, cuddle him, I never get to be with Frank because I was an idiot who killed himself. God, I couldn’t even do this right. I just hope he’ll end up being happier without me. 

My mind is flooded with memories of Frank. All the time we spent together over the last three years of our lives. It's been the best last three years anyone could ask for. Everything keeps getting dimmer and dimmer. The last image in my head as everything fades to black is of the first time we said I love you to each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. If you enjoyed this please leave comments or kudos. I really want to know what everyone thinks about works like this. I'm extremely open to constructive criticism. Again Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read this. I truly appreciate it. Have a great day!


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